Christmas. New Year's.
And with that, comes the inevitable mass of people who 'friend' me on Facebook and other platforms. Naturally, that means that I get new connections. That's good, right?
Kind of… but most of all, it makes me realize that most people simply don't care in the slightest. Every single time someone invites me to friend them, I have a simple response that I type.
, I don't believe we've spoken yet. To what do I owe the pleasure?
If you've added me on Facebook in the last 6 months, you've probably been asked that.
And the reality is, 9/10 times people see my messages within a week. That's how long you have, if you want to actually connect.
If you don't respond, if you don't even start a simple chat about the weather… what's in it for me?
You're not engaging, you're not talking to me, you're not even trying to sell me. Shit, trying to sell me is better than not even acknowledging I exist!
Just today, I was added by a guy from Thailand. He's looking to collect some $2.5k to start fixing some things in an education center.
Great cause. He tried to sell me on giving him money, in the first response. No biggie. We had a chat about what he could do better, that he could reach out to various organizations, maybe even crowdfund.
A really pleasant conversation. He showed me a really detailed proposal about what needs to be done.
On the other hand, yesterday I 'connected' with a 'major' CEO in the SaaS space. I was like, "Hi, we haven't talked. What's up?"
First response: copy-pasted pitch about blockchain technology investments.
So I said, "Look man I'm not interested in cryptos or blockchain. How's your holidays going?"
Did I get a second response? Nope. He just saw I wouldn't give him money, and just went away.
Is it unreasonable that I want and expect at least some humanity in the way people treat me? Is it unreasonable that upon wishing someone Happy Holidays, or Merry Christmas, I don't want to be met with a stone-cold pitch on investment opportunities?
I don't think I'm being irrational here. I want to be treated like a person.
And so does everyone else.
The prime mistake people make when connecting with others isn't even that they pitch. It's how they pitch.
People buy from people they like.
Be a person. Let yourself be casual. A dirty/ disgusting joke is better than a fake image of professionalism. It shows character and that you're a person, too.
There's a reason AIDA exists. You need to get attention. Here's how you can do that:
Hi, just saw you in my recommended friends list, and thought I'd reach out. How's your holiday going?
Simple, friendly, great conversation starter. If it's going great, cool, congratulate them, ask about recent wins.
If it's bad, no biggie – sympathize, and ask questions.
Which goes back to a core principle of persuasion. To be interesting, be interested.
Listen to people. Ask questions. Be inquisitive. Be curious. Your first goal is to make people comfortable around you. Comfortable enough to talk about hobbies, sports, perhaps family and friends, and finally… business.
That's how you get to know their problems, pain-points, desires. And then you can help them make a decision. To do that, you need to have paid attention.
You already know what they want, and why they want it. All you need to do is offer it to them. Show them how it'll solve their problem.
And then ask for action. Whether that's giving you money, signing up for your newsletter, whatever.
But you need to connect first. You can't just be asking for action without having built, developed that human connection.
Hell, you don't even need to be great at this. All you need to do is take a step back, be polite, and show that you're not just looking for a quick buck.
Hope this helps. And if you'd like to get in touch, you can do so with the buttons below.